Interview – How to Cope with Loss

Written by Andria Rene Singletary

I’m so excited to have my sis Tiffany Jones as one of Redeeming Mommyhood’s featured mamas on Mommyhood Spotlight! Tiffany and I met through the amazing ministry Wives in Waiting (she shares more about it in her interview). We had the pleasure of serving together in this ministry for the past 2 years. Doing ministry allowed us to build a close bond that has grown into us doing life together. Tiffany’s interview blessed me so much! She is one of the strongest women I know. I know this interview is going to bless you all too!

1. Tiffany, please tell us about yourself.

Tell you about myself. Okay, well I originally started answering this by talking about my husband and kids. I clearly see that sometimes talking about me can be hard. Let me try this again. Hi all, my name is Tiffany. I’m a lover of God! I am a wife and a mother. My job is staying at home with my babies. I used to work in corporate America, but it didn’t work for me and my family so my husband and I made the decision for me to stay home. I love to create beautiful gifts for people. I am also aspiring to be a planner. I just recently celebrated my 32nd birthday. I’m blessed to see another year. Thank you God! A few fun facts to share about me. I love to dance and sing. Both have been a passion of mine for years. Random info I love the colors yellow and pink. I’m a big movie fan, mainly of comedies and romance but I’ll throw some action movies in from time to time. I also LOVE to read. I have tons of books on my bookshelf. One of my favorites that I’ve read over and over is Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers, such an amazing book! It’s a fictional book based on the Bible book Hosea. Which is one of my favorite books of the Bible. Last fun fact I’ll share is that I love to write! It’s been a while since I’ve written anything but I know that the passion is still very much inside of me.

2. How many children do you have and what are their ages? Tell us a little about them.

I have four beautiful blessings. Joshua, Alexandria, Josiah, and Jaedan. Josiah is my angel baby and he gets to enjoy heaven and be parented by the parents of all parents! Josh is my oldest. He is 6. He will be 7 next month. He loves to relax and play video games. Oh and snack. He’s very kind and helpful. He loves God and I can tell that he is one of God’s prophets. He’s super inquisitive and needs to understand everything! He loves his sister and brother and is really intelligent. Alexandria, also known as Lexie, is 4 and will be 5 next month as well. Yall pray for my strength two birthdays in one month just 8 days apart. Anyways, Lexie is my princess and she takes on that nickname very well. She’s a girly girl but loves to rough house with her brother. I know she will be able to protect herself but she will always have her dad and brothers right there if/when she needs them. Lexie likes to be on the go. Also she meets no stranger. She’s very social and friendly. Lastly she loves to pray for those she knows and loves. Then I already shared about my heaven baby Josiah. He would’ve been 1 by now. Lastly my rainbow after the storm, my promise from God, Jaedan, he’s 7 months. He’s full of energy, joy, love and cuddles. He’s my calmest kid so far. He’s very chill. He loves to see his sister and brother, and I’m sure he can’t wait to be able to play with them when he gets fully mobile.

3. How long have you and your husband been together?

We’ve been together for 9 years, married 8 years. What I love about us is that we’ve known each other for 29 years. We met back when I was 3 and he was 5.

4. What does your daily routine look like?

Chaotic! I’m still adjusting to having a better schedule now that I have 3 kiddos. It’s mainly me during the day because hubby is at work a good portion of the day. So on my good days I get up before the kids. I pray and read a devotional or two, I feed Jae and put him down for a nap. Then the older two get up and I feed them. We try to listen to worship music together and go over our weekly scripture. Since it’s still summer I let them play while I take care of housework and/or create new things with my Cricut machine. I break and we all have lunch and play. If I have it planned I’ll work with Josh and Lex on writing, reading and math. They don’t like naps anymore so we do quiet time. Then it’s time to make dinner or heat up leftovers. Bedtime then a little mommy time til I fall asleep or wait for hubby to come home. Now listen, don’t be like dang sis is doing it. Trust me, this doesn’t happen every day. Some days we only do half of what I shared or none of it because we are just trying to get through the day. I am not perfect in this daily routine, but I try my best.

5. What do you enjoy the most about being a mom?

Sharing God and his love with them and seeing them doing the same with each other and others. I also love the hugs and random “ mommy I love you” moments. I love seeing them filled with happiness and joy. Or when they come to me wanting to be held.

6. What has been the most difficult situation you have faced as a mother? How did you overcome it?

Oh the situations I’ve dealt with but the one I’ll share is the one I’m still currently working through. My oldest has been sneaking snacks and lying. So we’ve been working with him to make sure he is asking for permission and telling the truth. It’s been a battle but I also pray and declare over him that he is a man of integrity, honor, respect, trustworthy and honest. I’m going to keep speaking it until it manifests itself. In the meantime I will do my best to keep my cool and call on God when he keeps doing the same thing.

7. What are your favorite ways to keep your children busy?

We like to build our own cities. So we get the out blocks and build or we play with our new favorite building toys. They are magnetic building blocks. So much fun!  Some days I try to do math or writing or something educational with them. Or I’ll put on a movie, or let them have their tablets for a few hours, or go play outside if it’s nice enough. 

8. What does self-care look like for you and how do you make sure you incorporate it regularly?

Right now it’s not really a thing I’m able to do at the moment. Hubby works a lot of hours. So it doesn’t really allow me to have self-care moments/days. When I can, I go to the gym. I just started doing that again. Or I try to make sure I take a long soaking bath at night instead of a quick shower. Other than that I could use some creative ideas or suggestions.

9. Tell us about L.U.E. box and what led you to start this business? How do you balance your business with mommyhood?

Ahhh L.U.E. Box! I originally wasn’t planning on trying to make this into a business. It started off by me wanting to encourage a couple of friends from a women’s leader group I used to be a part of. Side note, let me shout out Wives in Waiting real quick. This is a phenomenal ministry. Because of God working through these women I am the woman, wife and mother I am today. I have grown so much. Even though I’m no longer in a leading position, I still enjoy being a part of the ministry. It is a wonderful group of women all over the world choosing to grow, learn, and have healthy relationships especially with God. If you don’t know, go find Wives in Waiting on Facebook and Instagram. It’ll bless you. Okay sorry about that. L.U.E. Box came about because I wanted to encourage my sisters through my creativity. From there I received requests to encourage others. So that’s when I said to myself I should make this into a business and come up with a name. So the words “love uniquely expressed” came to me and I abbreviated it. My mission is to express God’s love through the things I can create and help someone when they need it. I’m not where I want to be business wise but I am taking it day by day. That was kind of a long explanation sorry about that. Okay how I balance it. I plan out my week. If I have an order, I work on it during quiet time and after they [the kids] go to bed. Or I wait until my hubby is off, if he’s “off” (he does a lot of overtime) or for my mom to come over and help me with the kids.

10. What advice would you give a mom who has suffered a similar loss as you?

I would first say, cry whenever it comes up. It’s cleansing. Talk about them. If you can’t bring yourself to talk to others just yet, write about your baby in a journal. Then try to work your way up to talk about them. Remember no rainbow baby can replace what you lost. They are two different individuals. It’s okay to be mad. I was for a while. I still have moments when I question God but then the scripture Isaiah 55:8-9 comes to me about his thoughts not being my thoughts and his ways not being my ways. So I lay my questions at HIS feet and ask for his peace, peace that surpasses all understanding. Also if you have older kids, create a safe place for them to talk about it or ask questions. My oldest has a hard time sometimes so we talk about it when he needs to. Make sure to celebrate your baby on their birthdays and due dates if you want. Do what’s special and important to you. We baked cupcakes and sang happy birthday on Josiah’s birthday. We may do something different next year. Oh, don’t feel bad or crazy about how you process. I know for me after the loss I would sleep with the blanket the hospital had Josiah wrapped in. Do what you need to do to process and heal. Don’t feel guilty when you have a good day. It’s okay to smile, laugh and enjoy your life still. Lastly, know that my heart hurts for you. This is a pain no parent ever wants to feel. It sucks, it doesn’t make sense and it’s hard to handle but know God is holding you close. He is the lifter of your head. He keeps you and protects you. Please know that he doesn’t love you any less or that he’s taken his love away. God loves you so much! Hold in your heart the scripture Psalm 34:18 “The LORD is close to the broken-hearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” I’m here and praying for all mamas especially those who have lost a baby and those who long to have a baby. I love you so much even though I don’t know you and God loves you even more.

Find Andria here

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Written by Andria Rene Singletary

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