I have always been satisfied with my body and physical appearance, until a family event came around that changed it all. Unfiltered commentary eroded my confidence in that moment. As they arrived, even before saying “Hi” the words that shot out of their mouths were, “Wow, you have gained some weight”. It sounds much more subtle in translation, but their actual words were, “Muchacha tu si esta gorda.” I would not have cared much if it was just one person, but by the end of the night I realized everyone had told me the same. I asked my husband if I looked bad and he simply told me “Baby you look fine.” Later on that night I stared at myself in the mirror and realized that I was wearing a size 8 in pants. It became a big deal to me because I have always been a size 2, even after having two daughters. I gave my ear to the opinions of others and for the first time I felt insecure and unsatisfied with my body. I became addicted to sweets, and was constantly stress eating every time I was bored. I realized that I had an unhealthy pattern I needed to break. I started looking for a diet that would work for my husband and I, so we came across the famous Keto Diet. I was focused, I was determined and I didn’t just want to diet. I wanted to completely change my eating habits. The Keto is a low- carb and high-fat diet, and being a Hispanic, it is tough to stay away from carbs. A few weeks into the diet, I realized that it was the perfect eating style for me, and I started to feel great and even lost weight.
When I was a month and a half into this new eating style, my husband came into the house with an empanada and my eyes widened. I fought with myself, and tried fighting off my desires of indulging in it, but by the end of the night I ate a whole empanada. This was more than three days worth of carbs. I felt bad for cheating but then I brushed it off and promised not to cheat again. The next day I thought about my actions and the holy spirit spoke into my heart and said, “you lack discipline and self control”. Those words felt like a spiritual slap. For a while I had been praying to God to reveal those things that are dishonorable in my walk. How amazing it is that we have a father that loves, corrects and reveals. We sometimes come to Christ and we have this fire that’s unstoppable, but the minute the world offers us something that looks nice we loose control, we start compromising and we start stumbling in what’s supposed to be a hard NO. We trade discipline for the desires of not just our flesh but our minds and we start adding ”but” and “if” to Bible verses to justify our actions. After that day it no longer became about staying on a diet, but it became training camp. God was teaching me self control and discipline through the simple steps of dieting. I started paying more attention to the things I did on an everyday basis that didn’t honor and represent God. We speak about living a life of integrity, and that starts with the simplest actions that include conversations we have, our perception of other individuals, the way we express ourselves when we are upset, etc. It is important to continue practicing self reflection and keep change active in our lives. Living honorably before God entails dying to self, and everyday being the change and making a change in others through reflecting God. God’s correction is a sign of his love and shows us how much he cares about the relationship he has with us.
If you find yourself in that place where you are asking God, Am I honoring you? Am I ok with you? Am I serving you correctly? Is there anything I am doing that is wrong?Pay attention to the small things, because God may use them to speak to you. Be attentive to his voice and sensitive to the Holy Spirit.