Finding the Balance

“Comparison is the thief of joy” we read time and time again on Instagram memes and Pinterest boards. These famous words, uttered by Theodore Roosevelt, remind us that holding our lives up to the reels and pictures we see online -and in real life- is a sure fire way to rob us of contentment.

We create stories in our heads about the things we see in those images, assumptions of what kind of mom she must be, and how obviously that mom has her life together… Why can’t WE figure it out?!

Comparison won’t just rob us of our joy, it will also steal away our confidence. It will have us questioning our worth, our calling, our capabilities, and even who we are in Christ.

Imposter syndrome sneaks in when we allow ourselves to look outside of our own reality and Christ’s truth. Whispers from the world’s standards have us stuck in should territory, whispers from the enemy try to bury us there

“I am 35 years old, I should have _____ by now.”

“I am 42 years old, why don’t I have _____ by now.”

“I am ___ years old, I should have a house/paid off car/stacked savings account by now.” 

And so the dangerous spiral begins and our God-given dreams carried by faith risk falling through fingers grasping for other things. All because we aren’t where she is yet.

The truth of reality is that we are not just dealing with silly, human issues… Spiritual warfare is very real and we have an enemy out there who does NOT want us succeeding in our work for the Kingdom.

“For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”

-Ephesians 6:12 NLT

Your kingdom calling to your spouse, your kids, your home, your community and ministries are not pleasing to the enemy who hates us. John 10:10 reminds us “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”

The Lord has a plan for every single one of us, and likewise, the enemy has one that would pervert and wreck every aspect of that. He doesn’t want successful marriages, happy kids, and financial freedom for us. Satan doesn’t want you sure of who you are, he wants you chained by comparison and lies of lack.

When you are tempted to see someone else’s life and dream about how you think yours should look, take a moment and tap into Jesus. What does He say about that?

Our enemy is prowling about hoping to cause our downfall. He wants you to live from a place of defeat, instead of living as a victor like the Word says you are! (Rom. 8:31-39)

“Be sober-minded, be alert. Your adversary the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour.”

-1 Peter 5:8 CSB

Discernment is a spiritual gift my friend! Pray the Lord open your eyes to the spiritual attacks that come under the guise of doomscrolling and seeing people for their accomplishments instead of sisters in Christ. It is all to take our attention away from Him and focus it on ourselves… earning value. Which we have been freely given as His beloved.

“Therefore, submit to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

-James 4:7

From the Blue Letter Bible Commentary on James 4 – “Resist comes from two Greek words: stand and against. James tells us to stand against the devil. Satan can be set running by the resistance of the lowliest believer who comes in the authority of what Jesus did on the cross.”

Do not comply with the enemy’s temptations and he will flee! Pray in spirit and truth dear sister, show the enemy you know who you are because you know who your God is!

Is comparison a sin? Not necessarily; comparison that convicts and leads us towards bearing good fruit is an entirely different story. In fact, Hebrews 6:12 says “Then you will not become spiritually dull and indifferent. Instead, you will follow the example of those who are going to inherit God’s promises because of their faith and endurance.”

On the other hand, comparison that leads us to jealousy, sinful intentions, and prideful competition bears bad fruit; it does not bring honor or glory to the Lord. This is a dangerous trap that can tarnish our witness and possibly carry other painful repercussions– not only for us, but those in need of our ministry too.

You were planted where you are for such a time as this. The people around you, the ones you carry influence with, the ones you were meant to feed and clothe, need you right here. Not where that other mom is.

Right here, right now, God is using you for His purpose. Keep your face turned towards Him and reflect the Son to a world living in darkness. 

Tips For Keeping Comparison In Check:

1. Relationship with the Father

We will not have intimacy with someone we aren’t spending time with. So get in the Word, saturate yourself with His truth, and give Him your worship and praise. When relationship with Him is priority all other keeps seem to be filled so much more easily!

2. Gratitude

It’s hard to be jealous when you’re choosing gratitude. Maybe you don’t have the quartz countertop of your dreams, but you can still choose to love the space you’re in and praise the Lord for the blessings in your life. “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

3. Take Thoughts Captive

We can’t control what thoughts pop into our head, but we do get to control what we do with them. We don’t have to believe every thought in our head, nor do we have to act out on every one either. We have authority to tell those thoughts to come under obedience to the Lord, and rebuke thoughts that are not healthy. So when thoughts come tempting you to compare, remind your heart of truth.

4. Pray For The Person On the Other Side

Who are you comparing yourself to? How does the Lord see them? Pray for them, as another child of God who needs the Lord just as much as you do! Ask the Lord to show you His heart for them, and to remind you of His plan for your family/business/future.

A reminder before we part ways…

Dear reader, you have a divine purpose designed in Heaven by a Father who loves you so dearly. Maybe some of that purpose is hidden to you, still in process of being revealed. The Lord can be trusted with it. Stay in obedience, follow Him, He is directing your paths even now as you read. Preparing a way for the things you may not believe possible.

Serve Him where you are and trust Him to move you when the time is right. Pray for the resources you need to further your family. He is good to equip you for the calling He has for you!

Dear Father, I pray for the woman reading this article right now, thank You for bringing her to this right when she needed it. I ask You to remind her of Your truth Lord, remind her of what You’ve asked her to carry that is hers alone. Give her eyes to see and ears to hear, help her discern the temptations of comparison and take those thoughts captive. I ask that You would equip for where she is and what’s coming, giving her a hope for the future and a drive for the present. Thank you Jesus for strong, confident women of the Lord fighting for your Kingdom!

In Your precious name we pray, Amen.